Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Posted by Jessica at 1:38 PM 5 comments
Monday, October 18, 2010
Posted by Jessica at 8:56 PM 2 comments
Friday, October 15, 2010
FW:
Posted by Jessica at 5:15 PM 0 comments
I am going to start blogging from my phone! I think it will be much easier than having to always be at the computer. Then i can post more pics too! :)
Posted by Jessica at 2:24 AM 0 comments
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Lightning Storms
I have been standing outside all night trying to catch the lightning on camera but it is too fast for me. Here is the best shot I got. I wish I could have gotten one of the huge ones, but I guess this will do.
Posted by Jessica at 1:18 AM 2 comments
Friday, July 30, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Marriage
Someone posted this on facebook and I thought it was a good one to share.
MARRIAGE:
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
Posted by Jessica at 12:03 AM 1 comments
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Madden's first laugh!
I was tickling Madden and we had the camera sitting near by. We were able to catch his first laugh on camera! It is a bit of a forced laugh but still sooo cute!
Posted by Jessica at 12:22 PM 1 comments
Saturday, July 10, 2010
8 Weeks
We are alive! I promise. I can't believe Madden is already 8 weeks. Time has flown by. It has taken a bit to get used to having 2 kids for us, and I'm still struggling with the lack of sleep thing, but we are coming along. Madden is such a happy baby, he has been smiling since birth. He has now started smiling, on purpose, when he sees me or Jake. He also loves to just sit with his daddy while he's doing homework. This is a common scene.
Jarren has adjusted great to having a brother. He loves him!! He loves to hug him, kiss him and hold him. He has even tried to carry him to me when I was in the other room. That was a nice little heart attack for me when I walked into the room they were in. In Jake's words "at least he was carrying him right side up!" I would have to agree.
Posted by Jessica at 11:00 PM 3 comments
Friday, May 21, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Madden's Pictures
When he came out, the cord was wrapped around his neck twice. They thought they were going to have to put an IV in him and pump him full of fluids to get him to perk up a little more, but after his bath he was doing great.
My awesome OB and family friend, Kari. She delivered my mom's youngest, Dallin. It was really cool to have her deliver my baby as well.
My midwife and OB right after the delivery. They are such awesome ladies, I was so happy to switch to them from my other OB, I will be with them forever now.
Jake, Jarren, Madden and Uncle Rob. We have decided that Madden looks a lot like Uncle Rob. Especially his profile.
The next morning after delivery, I woke up to this. My mom told me I had my eyes open when I was pushing, I was "pushing with my eyes" as she put it. I was shocked because I thought my eyes were closed, all I saw was black. Apparently I was blacking out as I pushed and popped some blood vessels. They said the blood look should go away after a week or two.
Posted by Jessica at 6:05 AM 5 comments
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Madden Drake's Birth Story
My baby was born at 5:52pm on May 11, 2010! I went in for my VBAC (Vaginal birth after c-section) and it was AWESOME!
I arrived at the hospital at 1pm, after my midwife had checked me and sent me to the hospital. We still had to register so Jake ran downstairs while they got me into a gown, IV started and into my bed.
At 1:50 my midwife came in and broke my water. I started having some contractions, but wasn't really feeling them and they weren't very consistent, even after having me try the birthing ball. So at 3pm they started me on the lowest dose possible of Pitocin. (I believe a 2?) They wanted the lowest dose because of the VBAC and we didn't want to chance rupturing the uterus, so they said they would up me every 30 minutes.
So at 3:30 they came in and up-ed it to a 4 (which is what women are usually started at on pit.) I hope I'm getting this number system right, it's just the numbers I saw. Anyway, that's when my contractions started coming more consistently and I could definitely feel them by this point. After about a half an hour, I asked for some drugs to take the edge off. I didn't want an epidural. They said they used Fentanyl.
So they gave me a half a dose and then a half hour later gave me the rest of the dose since I was starting to be in a lot of pain again. I could still feel the contractions with the drug, but it helped me relax more in between contractions.
Around 5 I text my mom and asked her if I were to get an epidural, would I be a wuss. She's been my major support with not having an epidural(along with one of my friends). She said no, but then rushed her butt to the hospital because she wanted to help me push through the pain and not get one.
Once she arrived at the hospital, 5:15, I went from a 7 to a 10 in about 5 minutes flat. I started feeling LOTS of pain. All of a sudden I knew he was coming, I could feel him in the birth canal. They checked me and said it was time to push. At this point I started screaming I wanted an epidural because I couldn't take how fast it went. The guy was in a c-section though and couldn't come. So I started to push.
After a half hour of pushing, my little guy made it into the world at 5:52pm. No epidural, and a VBAC. It was truly amazing and in the end I'm so happy I didn't get the epidural and I was able to push and feel him come out. There is no other feeling like the release of pressure when he comes out. There is no other feeling like the ring of fire either lol, but it's so worth it when they put your baby on your chest. I started to get all choked up because I did not get to have that with Jarren.
We couldn't believe how small he was since his brother was a week and a half earlier than him, an ounce heavier than him and 2 inches longer than him. He's my little peanut.
I will post pictures tomorrow when I have my adapter for my memory card.
Posted by Jessica at 12:34 AM 7 comments
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Journaling Purposes: Close to birth
So I wanted to make sure I get this written down since I probably won't remember it in a year or so.
Yesterday I had my first "weekly" appointment with my midwives. They decided to check me at the appointment since I delivered Jarren at 37 weeks and 2 days. Sure enough, I was dilated! Much further than I was with Jarren at this time. When my water broke with Jarren I was only at a 2. When she checked me yesterday I was already at a 4 and 60% effaced! Sweet! She said his head was resting at a station -2, so he was still high and bouncy. That's how Jarren was when I went into labor with him too. After she checked me, she looked at me and smiled and said "Now you know all that pain and pressure wasn't for nothing!" It was so good to hear that, I was worried I had been in all this pain for nothing. Now I just have to watch for contractions!
Also, today I had my chiropractor appointment and when he adjusted my back it made a different noise when popping. It kinda startled me. After adjusting me he asked if I could tell the difference in the sounds of it popping, I said "Yeah! Is it a bad thing?". He told me it wasn't! He said it was a very good thing, that my body is preparing for delivery. He said that your body releases what is called relaxin, and the reason my backed popping sounded different is because it was easier to put it back into place since it was so relaxed. I wasn't sure what relaxin was so he explained it to me. He said your body releases it so that your bones and ligaments can separate for birth. So that the baby is able to make it out of the birth canal. He also told me it isn't long after you body releases this that you go into labor. I just kinda laughed, I still think it is never going to end. He told me to make another appointment for next week but that he doesn't think he will be seeing me again til after the baby is here. Anyway tonight I decided to look it up and see what I could find. I did find this link here.
Posted by Jessica at 8:56 PM 2 comments
Monday, April 26, 2010
Pregnancy
It's. Never. Going. To. END!
Thanks for letting me vent.
Posted by Jessica at 7:03 PM 1 comments
Monday, April 19, 2010
Eviction Notice
I am issuing a 30 day notice for EVICTION. Tenant will have 30 days in which he can either gather his belongings and promptly vacate the premises, or wait until the final day. After which, he will be physically removed from the property.
He's being evicted due to breech of contract and destruction of property. Expansions only to the FRONT of the house, within reasonable limits, were discussed. Not only have these limits been exceeded, but additions to the back of the house were also made!
Remodeling and gutting of the home was never approved, nor was changing the initial layout and base structure. And due to property damage, there are now leaks in both the upper AND lower levels of the home. On top of which, the landlord has received numerous complaints about nightly disturbances.
After 30 days from this day that he doesn’t comply with the notice will result in immediate and forceful removal at my discretion.
Love,
Mommy
Posted by Jessica at 9:38 PM 3 comments
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Growing up!
Yesterday I had my 6 month check up at the dentist. They told me to go ahead and bring Jarren in to see how his teeth were doing, since he will be 3 in 3 months anyway. They said at this age, they usually don't let them do much since they are kind of scared of all the equipment. After I had my check up, Jarren got right up in that chair to "take a ride". He let them take pictures of his teeth and count them. He also got his teeth scraped and cleaned, then he let them floss. After the Dentist came to check my teeth for cavities, Jarren climbed back up in the chair to let the dentist blow air on his teeth and check for cavities.
I was so surprised by how well he did. He is such a big boy and growing up so fast. The closer I get to the due date of this baby, the more I realize Jarren won't/isn't my baby anymore. He is getting so big!
Also, neither of us have cavities :)
Posted by Jessica at 10:02 PM 1 comments
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Big Baby!
Well, I finally did it! I switched from an OBGYN to Midwives. So far I love it! They have been so much more positive about me being able to do a VBAC than my doctor was. They gave me a lot of information and taught me some things I didn't know.
Also, I'm supposed to be 34 weeks according to my ultrasound I had when I was 20 weeks (33 weeks by estimated due date) and I'm measuring at 37 weeks! So it's a big baby! My midwife wanted me to get another ultrasound done to double check his size, but hopefully this means he will come early like his brother did. I'm so excited!
P.S. Thanks for all the votes and help, but I ended up in like 4th place. It was fun to be a part of the top 10 though!
Posted by Jessica at 4:52 PM 4 comments
Monday, March 22, 2010
I'm a finalist! Please vote!
It would be such a blessing to be able to win this. We are in need of a stroller especially since this baby is a spring baby, we will need it all summer!
My picture was chosen as part of the final 10 in a "belly bump contest" I almost didn't send in the picture, but did last minute kind of as a "what the heck, might as well" thing. Well to my surprise I had an email this morning telling me all the details. I need all my friends and family to go to http://www.babygizmo.com/vote/ and vote for me. It's the picture of Jarren resting his head on my stomach. Only one vote from each computer, they track the IP addresses. But hey, if you have more than one computer in the house, feel free to vote on each of them ;)
I'm so excited and nervous. I'm happy to just be in the final 10! The voting ends on April 2nd, so please send this info onto your friends and family, or even if you would like to post this on your blog to all your readers, I would be ok with that :)
Love you all!
EDIT: APPARENTLY WE CAN VOTE EVERY 24 HOURS. So please vote for me whenever you can until April 2nd when it closes. :)
Posted by Jessica at 1:20 PM 5 comments
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Freezer Meals (Once a month cooking)
Hey, anyone out there know some good freezer meals? I'm looking to prepare and freeze some meals before the baby is born so that Jake can cook for them if I'm too tired or busy with the baby, etc.
I'm going to make breakfast burritos and bean & cheese burritos, because Jake and Jarren love those. So I can buy in bulk and make a bunch and freeze them. This way the two of them aren't living off of chips and cookies. I mean honestly, those of you that know Jake, know that it would be sugar all day everyday if he could have it.
So any ideas? Cheap and Easy preferably :)
P.S. Check out my photo blog, I just did a newborn's pictures and it made me WAY baby hungry. I'm ready for this little guy to be here!
Posted by Jessica at 7:26 PM 5 comments
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Maternity Pictures
I decided this afternoon to set up the tripod and use the self-timer. We wanted to get some maternity pictures. Here are a couple from the shoot that I love.
I couldn't decide which I liked better between these two, so I know they are the same picture, but I love them both.
Posted by Jessica at 6:26 PM 5 comments
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Potty Training...Yikes
We have been trying to potty train Jarren before the baby gets here. He isn't working with us really well and I'm starting to get frustrated. I really don't want to have 2 children in diapers and it would save us a lot of money if he would just do it.
In the last couple days he has pooped his pants 3 times and peed in them twice. UGH! I'm lucky Jake has been here for the poopy ones because I just don't think my prego stomach could handle it. Just the smell sends me running. He will tell us, "big boys potty on the toilet" and "I'm a big boy" but still won't TELL us if he has to go, we have to time him with the timer.
I found a potty chart online that I'm going to try to use with him starting tomorrow. We will see how that goes. Any suggestions on how to potty train a stubborn boy??
Posted by Jessica at 8:17 PM 5 comments
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Baby Stories
I was laying on my back trying to show Jake what the baby does at 2am. That of course is his play time, waking me up and everything. Anyway, he goes CRAZY. It feels like he is doing flips while punching and kicking me at the same time. So I was laying on my back and Jake lays down, lays his head on my stomach and tries to freak the baby out by talking in a really deep but loud voice. Well it worked! The baby fired back by kicking him right in the face. It was pretty funny. I could not stop laughing. When I finally calmed down enough to let Jake try again, the baby kicked him right in the nose. That was it, I was done, I could not stop laughing long enough for Jake to continue. It was hilarious.
Our friends had their baby this last Thursday so we went to go visit them in the hospital, we took Jarren to see how he would respond to the baby. He did really well! He wanted to help hold him and give him kisses and everything. It was really cute. He even started calling him "Ma-hen" (Madden), even though we haven't decided on a name completely, apparently that's the one Jarren is sticking with. I tried to explain to him that it wasn't the baby from mommy's tummy and that this baby was Asher. He looked at me with a puzzled face and said "Asher? No Ma-hen." It was pretty funny trying to explain it to him.
We need to post some pictures to update. I'm hoping to do some maternity pictures with Jake and Jarren sometime soon so maybe we can post those.
Posted by Jessica at 10:52 PM 1 comments
Friday, February 26, 2010
I married a...
So the other day after class I asked Jake what he learned about that day. (In psychology) He told me that he learned about persistence. So joking around I said "Oh, so you learned about me" and looked up at him smiling. Without missing a beat he said, "no, we learned about nagging yesterday." and started laughing.
I married a comedian everyone.
Posted by Jessica at 12:02 PM 1 comments