Take me out to the ball game..

Marriage

Someone posted this on facebook and I thought it was a good one to share.

MARRIAGE:
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Madden's first laugh!

I was tickling Madden and we had the camera sitting near by. We were able to catch his first laugh on camera! It is a bit of a forced laugh but still sooo cute!

8 Weeks

We are alive! I promise. I can't believe Madden is already 8 weeks. Time has flown by. It has taken a bit to get used to having 2 kids for us, and I'm still struggling with the lack of sleep thing, but we are coming along. Madden is such a happy baby, he has been smiling since birth. He has now started smiling, on purpose, when he sees me or Jake. He also loves to just sit with his daddy while he's doing homework. This is a common scene.

Jarren has adjusted great to having a brother. He loves him!! He loves to hug him, kiss him and hold him. He has even tried to carry him to me when I was in the other room. That was a nice little heart attack for me when I walked into the room they were in. In Jake's words "at least he was carrying him right side up!" I would have to agree.

Hospital Pictures

Madden's Pictures

38 Weeks and 5 days. Right after I got to the hospital and changed into my gown.

They broke my water and then 4 hours later, with a half hour of pushing:

When he came out, the cord was wrapped around his neck twice. They thought they were going to have to put an IV in him and pump him full of fluids to get him to perk up a little more, but after his bath he was doing great.

Check out that thigh muscle!

My awesome OB and family friend, Kari. She delivered my mom's youngest, Dallin. It was really cool to have her deliver my baby as well.

My midwife and OB right after the delivery. They are such awesome ladies, I was so happy to switch to them from my other OB, I will be with them forever now.

Jake, His mom (grandma :)) and Madden

Jake, Jarren, Madden and Uncle Rob. We have decided that Madden looks a lot like Uncle Rob. Especially his profile.

The next morning after delivery, I woke up to this. My mom told me I had my eyes open when I was pushing, I was "pushing with my eyes" as she put it. I was shocked because I thought my eyes were closed, all I saw was black. Apparently I was blacking out as I pushed and popped some blood vessels. They said the blood look should go away after a week or two.

The night Madden was born, Jarren was really sleepy and didn't want anything to do with him. He just wanted to cuddle with mom and dad. Then the next afternoon Grandma brought him by to visit again and he LOVED holding his brother and giving him kisses and looking at him. It was so cute.

He is a very awake baby. I was surprised with him not even being 24 hours after birth.

Jarren being silly and making faces. I love that he loves his brother so much already.

Madden Drake's Birth Story

My baby was born at 5:52pm on May 11, 2010! I went in for my VBAC (Vaginal birth after c-section) and it was AWESOME!
I arrived at the hospital at 1pm, after my midwife had checked me and sent me to the hospital. We still had to register so Jake ran downstairs while they got me into a gown, IV started and into my bed.

At 1:50 my midwife came in and broke my water. I started having some contractions, but wasn't really feeling them and they weren't very consistent, even after having me try the birthing ball. So at 3pm they started me on the lowest dose possible of Pitocin. (I believe a 2?) They wanted the lowest dose because of the VBAC and we didn't want to chance rupturing the uterus, so they said they would up me every 30 minutes.

So at 3:30 they came in and up-ed it to a 4 (which is what women are usually started at on pit.) I hope I'm getting this number system right, it's just the numbers I saw. Anyway, that's when my contractions started coming more consistently and I could definitely feel them by this point. After about a half an hour, I asked for some drugs to take the edge off. I didn't want an epidural. They said they used Fentanyl.

So they gave me a half a dose and then a half hour later gave me the rest of the dose since I was starting to be in a lot of pain again. I could still feel the contractions with the drug, but it helped me relax more in between contractions.

Around 5 I text my mom and asked her if I were to get an epidural, would I be a wuss. She's been my major support with not having an epidural(along with one of my friends). She said no, but then rushed her butt to the hospital because she wanted to help me push through the pain and not get one.

Once she arrived at the hospital, 5:15, I went from a 7 to a 10 in about 5 minutes flat. I started feeling LOTS of pain. All of a sudden I knew he was coming, I could feel him in the birth canal. They checked me and said it was time to push. At this point I started screaming I wanted an epidural because I couldn't take how fast it went. The guy was in a c-section though and couldn't come. So I started to push.

After a half hour of pushing, my little guy made it into the world at 5:52pm. No epidural, and a VBAC. It was truly amazing and in the end I'm so happy I didn't get the epidural and I was able to push and feel him come out. There is no other feeling like the release of pressure when he comes out. There is no other feeling like the ring of fire either lol, but it's so worth it when they put your baby on your chest. I started to get all choked up because I did not get to have that with Jarren.

We couldn't believe how small he was since his brother was a week and a half earlier than him, an ounce heavier than him and 2 inches longer than him. He's my little peanut.

I will post pictures tomorrow when I have my adapter for my memory card.

Journaling Purposes: Close to birth

So I wanted to make sure I get this written down since I probably won't remember it in a year or so.

Yesterday I had my first "weekly" appointment with my midwives. They decided to check me at the appointment since I delivered Jarren at 37 weeks and 2 days. Sure enough, I was dilated! Much further than I was with Jarren at this time. When my water broke with Jarren I was only at a 2. When she checked me yesterday I was already at a 4 and 60% effaced! Sweet! She said his head was resting at a station -2, so he was still high and bouncy. That's how Jarren was when I went into labor with him too. After she checked me, she looked at me and smiled and said "Now you know all that pain and pressure wasn't for nothing!" It was so good to hear that, I was worried I had been in all this pain for nothing. Now I just have to watch for contractions!

Also, today I had my chiropractor appointment and when he adjusted my back it made a different noise when popping. It kinda startled me. After adjusting me he asked if I could tell the difference in the sounds of it popping, I said "Yeah! Is it a bad thing?". He told me it wasn't! He said it was a very good thing, that my body is preparing for delivery. He said that your body releases what is called relaxin, and the reason my backed popping sounded different is because it was easier to put it back into place since it was so relaxed. I wasn't sure what relaxin was so he explained it to me. He said your body releases it so that your bones and ligaments can separate for birth. So that the baby is able to make it out of the birth canal. He also told me it isn't long after you body releases this that you go into labor. I just kinda laughed, I still think it is never going to end. He told me to make another appointment for next week but that he doesn't think he will be seeing me again til after the baby is here. Anyway tonight I decided to look it up and see what I could find. I did find this link here.

Pregnancy

It's. Never. Going. To. END!



Thanks for letting me vent.

Eviction Notice

For Madden:

I am issuing a 30 day notice for EVICTION. Tenant will have 30 days in which he can either gather his belongings and promptly vacate the premises, or wait until the final day. After which, he will be physically removed from the property.

He's being evicted due to breech of contract and destruction of property. Expansions only to the FRONT of the house, within reasonable limits, were discussed. Not only have these limits been exceeded, but additions to the back of the house were also made!

Remodeling and gutting of the home was never approved, nor was changing the initial layout and base structure. And due to property damage, there are now leaks in both the upper AND lower levels of the home. On top of which, the landlord has received numerous complaints about nightly disturbances.

After 30 days from this day that he doesn’t comply with the notice will result in immediate and forceful removal at my discretion.

Love,
Mommy

Growing up!

Yesterday I had my 6 month check up at the dentist. They told me to go ahead and bring Jarren in to see how his teeth were doing, since he will be 3 in 3 months anyway. They said at this age, they usually don't let them do much since they are kind of scared of all the equipment. After I had my check up, Jarren got right up in that chair to "take a ride". He let them take pictures of his teeth and count them. He also got his teeth scraped and cleaned, then he let them floss. After the Dentist came to check my teeth for cavities, Jarren climbed back up in the chair to let the dentist blow air on his teeth and check for cavities.


I was so surprised by how well he did. He is such a big boy and growing up so fast. The closer I get to the due date of this baby, the more I realize Jarren won't/isn't my baby anymore. He is getting so big!


Also, neither of us have cavities :)

Big Baby!

Well, I finally did it! I switched from an OBGYN to Midwives. So far I love it! They have been so much more positive about me being able to do a VBAC than my doctor was. They gave me a lot of information and taught me some things I didn't know.

Also, I'm supposed to be 34 weeks according to my ultrasound I had when I was 20 weeks (33 weeks by estimated due date) and I'm measuring at 37 weeks! So it's a big baby! My midwife wanted me to get another ultrasound done to double check his size, but hopefully this means he will come early like his brother did. I'm so excited!

P.S. Thanks for all the votes and help, but I ended up in like 4th place. It was fun to be a part of the top 10 though!